Fauna by Christiane Vadnais

Author:Christiane Vadnais
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Coach House Books
Published: 2018-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

In the lab, the cold creeps through the open window in waves, like eels slithering through the gaps in the bundles of clothing. When she feels it, the janitor grumbles. Outside, the storm is ramping up. It’s one of those winds that obeys no law but its own and can under no circumstances be contained. The moon and the city are rendered invisible; there is only a swath of black sky and millions of tiny snowflakes merging into a single entity. Laura scarcely has time to notice that her specimen is properly cold – it’s hard to recognize as the same creature, so closely has it come to resemble the common silver redhorse, Moxostoma anisurum – when she feels, with her whole being, the compulsion to give birth in the water, to feel the aqueous flow engulf her stomach.

Laura instinctively approaches the aquarium. The fish are calmly swimming. Without a thought for the bacteria, she leans on the janitor’s shoulder for balance. She places first one foot and then the other in the tank. The cold makes her shiver. Sitting on a bed of stones and algae, caressed by the viscous flanks of fish, she feels as if she’d never left that village on the lake where the women give birth aided only by their determination and insular tenacity. That was where, one appallingly hot night, this child took root. Tomorrow, best case, she’ll try to save her research by hiding the disintegrating specimen in her fridge. For a moment she wonders if she has the strength to push a living being from her body, bring forth the unknown, face a power beyond her control.

The janitor lights a cigarette. In the middle of this snowy room, her silhouette appears even tinier, like a household fairy unimpressed by the unfolding catastrophe, destined to eternally repeat the same night with no thought for impromptu childbirth or the storm of the century. As soon as she butts out her cigarette, she starts clearing the counter and sweeping up the snow. She tidies and folds and rolls with a breathtaking efficiency. She cannot help herself.

The contractions grow increasingly painful. Laura surrenders to the pain with an ease that surprises even her. At the end of what feels like an eternity, she opens her eyes to find the lab has been cleaned up. There is almost no snow left on the floor or in the sinks. The open window is stuffed with a bundle of fabric.

Her specimen is nowhere to be seen. The old woman is leaning against the counter. She has found the stash of snacks in Laura’s drawer and is munching on nuts.

‘What did you do with the fish that was there?’

The janitor shrugs her shoulders.

‘We have to find it!’ Laura yells as she moves to stand, but a piercing pain stops her in her tracks. All she can do is slide back into the water and give in to the convulsions wracking her body. While every muscle in her body contracts, the janitor gathers her rags and disappears.

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